The New Google-Possesed Internet Explorer

A friend of mine said to me recently that IE is the worst thing to happen to us since the Great Depression. “Really?” I asked. “Unemployment? Homelessness? Starvation?”
“Well, in terms of the computer world, yes.” He answered.

Google has apparently heard his cry, and answered with Google Chrome Frame, a new plug-in for IE that means to patch up, soothe, encourage, and give a friendly boost to the less able-footed browser. Never has a plug-in been so condescending.

According to Computerworld, Internet Explorer 8 runs a whopping 9.6 times faster with the new plug-in. That’s insane.

The add-on is less like a plug-in, and more like a super-intelligent alien parasite that takes over its host’s brain while leaving outsiders unaware. Google Chrome Frame basically works by rendering webpages inside of IE, doing all the hard work like JavaScript and HTML 5 that Microsoft seems to have not ever known about.

Needless to say, Microsoft is less than thrilled about Google’s smart-alecky innovation. The more seasoned of the two computer companies was even moved to express personal familial concern, saying “Given the security issues with plug-ins in general and Google Chrome in particular, Google Chrome Frame running as a plug-in has doubled the attach area for malware and malicious scripts. This is not a risk we would recommend our friends and families take.”
Why would Google do such a thing? The problem is that IE, as the most clunky and popular of browsers, basically bottle necks internet’s capacity for evolution. It’s like, the ambitious land-longing fish of the web keeps crawling out on land, and then comes along IE, every damn time, and kicks it back in. Google’s own browser, Chrome, doesn’t help things much, since only about 3 percent of Internet users have it. Now, however, IE is basically replaced from within. Web developers won’t have to sell visitors on a new browser before they view their site now, they now only face the much simpler task of pushing a pesky, but necessary plug-in download, something most people are reluctant but willing to do to see cool stuff on the internet (eg Flash.)
In response to Microsoft’s complaints, Google said “Accessing sites using Google Chrome Frame brings Google Chrome’s security features to Internet Explorer users, providing strong phishing and malware protection (absent in IE6), robust sandboxing technology, and defenses from emerging online threats that are available in days rather than months.”

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